We enter a partnership with our own pictures of what we expect it to be like based on our values, dreams, conditioning experiences, and desires. Unless our partner has the same vision, we’re bound to run into difficulties. If you and your partner have been trying to bring your individual visions into reality, it would be a very frustrating experience if neither of you knows the other’s dreams.
To have a successful relationship, you must co-create a shared vision as a conscious intention. A shared vision synthesizes separate dreams, values and needs. This joint creation becomes your new reality and influences your actions and decisions.
Creating a united Relationship Vision enables you and your partner to focus your energy better on creating the outcomes you both want in your relationship. The Relationship Vision offers clear direction about what actions to take each step of the way. You will no longer have to wait for unspoken or unconscious dreams to show up in your home. With a map in hand, you and your partner will be less likely to get lost on your relationship journey.
Why Create a Relationship Vision?
- Helps you realize the relationship of your dreams
- Creates a road map for your relationship
- Allows you to imagine all the components of your ideal relationship
- Creates a relationship practice of reading the vision to each other every day for 90 days.
- Establishes clear relationship goals
- It gives direction to each decision and shapes each action
The Relationship Vision Exercise
Step 1: Co-Create a Relationship Vision
Using a blank piece of paper, each of you (separately) will write short sentences that describe your personal vision of the relationship you want. Write each sentence in the present tense, as if it were already happening. Examples: we have fun together, we are loving parents, we hug a lot, we respect each other, we rely on and trust each other. Write at least five or six vision statements. Let your imagination go wild. Once you have finished co-creating your mutual vision, read it out loud to each other taking turns with alternating lines and mirror back.
Step 2: Compare Lists
When all the items have been read and mirrored accurately, compare the two lists. Whenever you identify similar items, place a checkmark next to the items that you and your partner both listed. It doesn’t matter if you use different words as long as the general idea is the same. If your partner mentioned anything you agree with or do not object to but you did not think of yourself, add it to your list as you go. Each of you then places a check next to it.
If your partner has written items with which you do not agree, do not discuss them at this time. Draw a thick line below your items listed and write them on your list. Your differences are options for future dialogue and mutual growth.
Step 3: Merge the Two into One
When you have finished co-creating your mutual vision, read it out loud to each other – taking turns with alternating lines. Remember, this is a live document – so anything you want to add or subtract you can. It’s not carved in stone. Read your relationship vision to each other once a week, and place this vision someplace in your home where it is visible!