If you could envision your perfect relationship, what would it look like? How would you feel? What would you be doing? Do you dream of laughing often? Feeling safe and relaxed? Having joint activities you both find meaningful?
If we dream, we can create. If we create, we will live abundantly. It all begins with the dream. The first step in creating a relationship vision is to revisit our original dream and chart the specifics. Where do we want to go? When we can pull the similarities in our personal dreams and create a united relationship vision, we are able to focus our energy better on creating the outcome we want. The relationship vision offers clear direction about what actions to take each step of the way. We no longer wait for our unspoken or unconscious dreams to show up in our home. We co-create a new, conscious stream. With a map in hand, we are less likely to get lost on our journey.
Purpose of the Relationship Vision
- Dream Your Personal Vision of Your Relationship
- Co-Create a Shared Relationship Vision That Inspires Both You and Your Partner
- Establish Relationship Goals That You and Your Partner Can Both Support and Work Towards
- Remind Yourself of the Potential in Your Relationship
Step 1. Co-create a shared relationship vision by establishing relationship goals that you can both support and work towards. Using the relationship vision form, write short sentences that describe your personal vision of the relationship you want. Write each sentence in the present tense, as if it were already happening. Examples: we have fun together, we are loving parents, we hug a lot, we respect each other, we rely on and trust each other. Use only positive words: for example: We settle our differences peacefully versus we don’t fight
- include behaviors you did in the past that you want to reinstate.
- Include behaviors already present in your relationship that you want to keep
- include behaviors you want to add to your relationship
Write at least five or six vision statements. Once you have finished co-creating your mutual vision, read it out loud to each other taking turns with alternating lines and mirror back.
Step 2. Compare and Mirror Lists Sender: “in my relationship vision we…” Receiver: mirrors each statement checking for accuracy.
Step 3. Compare your lists When all the items have been read and mirrored accurately, compare the two lists. Whenever you identify similar items, place a check on the form in the left column labeled similarities next to the items that you and your partner both listed. It doesn’t matter if you use different words as long as the general idea is the same. If your partner mentioned anything you agree with or do not object to but you did not think of yourself, add it to your list as you go. Each of you than places a check in the similarities column. If your partner has written items with which you do not agree, do not discuss them at this time. Draw a thick line below your items listed and write them on your list. Your differences are options for future dialogue and mutual growth. —-Read yours first — if you have back in yours and place a check in the similarities column, if you don’t but you like it right it down and put a check in the similarities column .
Step 4. Take a piece of paper and record your shared vision. We will now merge these two into one. Remember to write short descriptive sentences, write each sentence in the present tense, and write each sentence positively. S
Step 5. When you have finished co-creating your mutual vision, read it out loud to each other taking turns with alternating lines.
This is a live document so anything you want to add or subtract you can. It’s not carved in stone. We suggest reading your relationship vision to each other once a week (you may want to take turns reading), and placing this vision someplace in your home where it is visible!