Eye Gazing

In a conscious relationship, one notices the importance of eye contact. There is an exercise that you can practice with your partner called Eye Gazing. I was once in a Zen monastery called Tassajara, a retreat center in Northern California. While I was sitting with one of the monks in a large group, I asked him to explain why it is so difficult to be present in relationship. I asked if he would demonstrate how to do it. He called me over to him and I sat in a chair facing him. With about 30 other students watching, he began to simply gaze into my eyes, and I of course gazed back without saying any words. We sat there suspended in the moment, gazing into each other’s eyes, and for that moment, past and future seemed to fade away and we just were. As soon as we started to speak, the spell was broken. However, I learned a valuable lesson. Sitting quietly with your partner, not speaking and gazing into each other’s eyes, can be a powerful exercise and bring you closer to your goal of being in a conscious relationship. Eye Gazing also has the advantage of creating a very quiet place for you to observe your own judgments and opinions rising and falling. Of course we have all heard the phrase that the eyes are the window to the soul. While gazing deeply into your beloved’s eyes, you will feel more connected to their soul as they will to yours.